Saturday, February 22, 2014

Surrendering Isaac


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That place. That place that Abraham was brought to. Oh the great, great sorrow he must have felt. 

  * * *

"Some time later God tested Abraham. He said to him, “Abraham!”
“Here I am,” he replied.
Then God said, “Take your son, your only son, whom you love—Isaac—and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on a mountain I will show you.


Early the next morning Abraham got up and loaded his donkey. He took with him two of his servants and his son Isaac. When he had cut enough wood for the burnt offering, he set out for the place God had told him about. On the third day Abraham looked up and saw the place in the distance. He said to his servants, “Stay here with the donkey while I and the boy go over there. We will worship and then we will come back to you.



6 Abraham took the wood for the burnt offering and placed it on his son Isaac, and he himself carried the fire and the knife. As the two of them went on together, Isaac spoke up and said to his father Abraham, “Father?”
“Yes, my son?” Abraham replied.
“The fire and wood are here,” Isaac said, “but where is the lamb for the burnt offering?
Abraham answered, “God himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering, my son.” And the two of them went on together.
When they reached the place God had told him about, Abraham built an altar there and arranged the wood on it. He bound his son Isaac and laid him on the altar, on top of the wood. 10 Then he reached out his hand and took the knife to slay his son. 11 But the angel of the Lord called out to him from heaven, “Abraham! Abraham!”
“Here I am,” he replied.
12 “Do not lay a hand on the boy,” he said. “Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son.
13 Abraham looked up and there in a thicket he saw a ram caught by its horns. He went over and took the ram and sacrificed it as a burnt offering instead of his son. 14 So Abraham called that place The Lord Will Provide. And to this day it is said, 
“On the mountain of theLord it will be provided.

15 The angel of the Lord called to Abraham from heaven a second time 16 and said, 
“I swear by myself, declares the Lord, that because you have done this and have not withheld your son, your only son, 17 I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as the sand on the seashore. Your descendants will take possession of the cities of their enemies, 18 and through your offspring all nations on earth will be blessed, because you have obeyed me.”

* * *

I like how A.W. Tozer puts it in his book, " The Pursuit of God".


"The sacred writer spares us a close-up of the agony that night on
the slopes near Beersheba when the aged man had it out with his God, but
respectful imagination may view in awe the bent form and convulsive
wrestling alone under the stars. Possibly not again until a Greater than
Abraham wrestled in the Garden of Gethsemane did such mortal pain visit
a human soul. If only the man himself might have been allowed to die.
That would have been easier a thousand times, for he was old now, and to
die would have been no great ordeal for one who had walked so long with
God. Besides, it would have been a last sweet pleasure to let his
dimming vision rest upon the figure of his stalwart son who would live
to carry on the Abrahamic line and fulfill in himself the promises of
God made long before in Ur of the Chaldees."


-A.W. Tozer, Chapter 2  "The Blessedness of Possessing Nothing"



* * *


Have you an Isaac? Have you something so precious in your heart that it has dethroned the Sovereign Lord from His rightful place? A thing, dream, person, or desire? Something so dear to you that it would be better to die than to lose it? 

I will be honest with you friend (because that's what electrifies life- raw vulnerability), 
I have been asked to sacrifice my Isaac. I have been asked to lay him upon the Lord's alter and oh, the pain. The pain. I can imagine Abraham writhing in the desert for I am there with him; knees weak, stomach overturned, heart wrenching and bursting in agony. There is no pain so great as to lose what is most precious to you. 
Nothing. 

I am in that place on the mountain side. Looking over Isaac-bound with sin-asking me through salty, sharp tears, "WHY?! WHY?! WHY?!"
There is great and unimaginable sorrow that fills your heart when your dreams ask you that question, when the Lord asks you to surrender your greatest desire so that it is no longer yours, but His.
 The human heart simply cannot understand. 

I cannot tell you yet of the great blessings that will follow this sacrafice. I cannot yet tell you of how the Lord provided but HE WILL and when he does friends, I cannot wait to tell you about it. Not for my sake, but for yours. 

Until then, I leave you with my only hope, the hope I cling to, the hope Abraham threw his entire soul into, the hope I will rest every ounce of my being in because I can do nothing else. Hear my words, I will not die on this mountain side as the sorrow beckons me too. 
I will not give up but I will surrender.

The Lord gives good things to those who trust in Him, to those who quietly wait for salvation who love Him. Good things! No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind can imagine these good things! None! That is how freaking good they are. 
The Lord has a PERFECT plan with PERFECT timing because He is PERFECT. 
The Lord will provide. He has too. He promised and He is faithful.
The Lord knows what I need, and believe it or not, that is greater than what I want.

That is where I try and find my peace on this mountainside, deeply mourning over Isaac. He is the Lord's now, not mine. Do not hear me denying the pain. There is no darkness like it. Only those who have experienced it, know of it. Yet, there is somehow beauty in this chaos.


"God let the suffering old man go through with it up to the point where
He knew there would be no retreat, and then forbade him to lay a hand
upon the boy. To the wondering patriarch He now says in effect, "It's
all right, Abraham. I never intended that you should actually slay the
lad. I only wanted to remove him from the temple of your heart that I
might reign unchallenged there. I wanted to correct the perversion that
existed in your love. Now you may have the boy, sound and well. Take him
and go back to your tent. Now I know that thou fearest God, seeing that
thou hast not withheld thy son, thine only son, from me."


Then heaven opened and a voice was heard saying to him, "By myself have

I sworn, saith the Lord, for because thou hast done this thing, and hast
not withheld thy son, thine only son: that in blessing I will bless
thee, and in multiplying I will multiply thy seed as the stars of the
heaven, and as the sand which is upon the sea shore; and thy seed shall
possess the gate of his enemies; and in thy seed shall all the nations
of the earth be blessed; because thou hast obeyed my voice."

-A.W. Tozer "The Pursuit of God"


  We find truth and hope in who God is
     not the mystery of what He allows. 

He is good. He is love. His love never fails.


When the pain twists inside me, I will scream this truth with every breath of my lungs. 

"The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. 
He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. you anoint my head with oil; MY CUP OVERFLOWS. Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."
Psalm 23:1-6


Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Three Days

Abraham traveled three days to Mount Moriah mourning with great sorrow over the direction to sacrifice his only son. 

Jonah spent three days in the belly of a whale, hopeless and in total darkness. 

Jesus spent three days seemingly defeated by death itself. 

Three days of defeat and darkness.


Now compare that to this. 


 A lifetime of love and hope renewed to Abraham through a ram. [God Provides]

Jonah is rescued, restored, and redeemed. [God is faithful]

Jesus Christ conquered death and the grave. [God is in control]





The pain of three days may seem like forever, 
but it is nothing compared to a holy, healing, l.o.v.e. that lasts an eternity.  


Friday, February 14, 2014

Sixty Two Years | February 13, 2014




I got out of class early last night after a somewhat tricky statistics test. I had about an hour to kill so I sat down and looked out over the city and let my mind wander...

Relationships. Man, are they tricky. Far trickier than statistics. How do you know in a relationship? How do you know that they won't leave you for someone else? Or that they won't get in a car accident? Or they won't fall out of love with you? How do you know if they're the one? How do you know it won't end in divorce? How do you trust someone that deeply? How could a couple possibly manage a life long love? Then I thought about my grandparents. They have been married 62 years. They must be experts of some kind in this day and age. What did Grandma comfort herself with when Grandpa was at war and away at school? How have they come this far?

Overwhelmed by my own heart, I almost started a game of Candy Crush but suddenly I could sense the Lord telling me, "No, I have something else for you. I'm not done talking yet."

So I called my Grandparents and asked, "How in the world have you been married 62 years?!" I want to share their response with you in light of it being Valentines Day and all. 

These, my friends, are the wise, wise words of a man and woman who have managed to do a life long love for 62 years and counting. 

"We were apart for a good part of the beginning of our marriage. It was difficult without a doubt. We moved all the time and only saw each other on the weekends really. He was in the war and I was a nurse. He went to school and I stayed at home with the children. Perseverance, faith, and commitment got us through those times. It sure was nice when we  were able to live together! You know, it takes 50% of one person and 50% of another to make things work. Sometimes I was 40% and he was 60% and sometimes I was 60% and he was 40% but it always has to equal a whole. A good foundation is important. Having faith, going through the courtship and commitment are all important. We also learned that you can disagree and argue and not have to get a divorce! Sometimes it's easier just to stay married and work it out rather than go through all the aggravation of getting a divorce. We didn't want that aggravation. Also, you know the Lord is the one who blesses relationships. The time apart was difficult but the times together were sweet. We did have all kinds of troubles and hardships but you never call it quits. You have faith in the Lord. That makes a difference. There are no guarantees in life dear. You're right. You just don't know but you rely on the Lord. You know that. And one day after all the "what if's" and "is this it?", after all those questions and feelings you decide, "Yes. Through sickness and health until death do us part." or, "No. This isn't it." I firmly believe that. 

Now hold on, your grand father is right here. 

Charles! It's your grandaughter. She wants to know how we have been married for 62 years. Do you have anything to say?

He's thinking...

"The other person is always right."-Charles LeValley

I should bop him over the head for that! 

Anyways dear, there is no greater feeling than looking at our family-our kids, grandkids, and  great grandkids, and knowing that he and I did that. All those people because of the two of us 62 years ago. It's incredible."

                  -Donna and Charles LeValley 

I don't know how many years the Lord has in that big book for me, let alone sharing it with another person but I trust Him. It's hard as hell to trust Him sometimes and it feels terrible for a while but once I realize that the Lord is good, there is overwhelming peace. The Lord is not cruel. 

The moral of it all?

Call your grandparents (or anyone you love for that matter). Tell them you love them and cherish their wisdom. They are so much better at life and you can only call them for so long this side of heaven. 

Also, God is in control. LOVINGLY in control. His timing is perfect and his love is even more so. 

One last thing. Ever hear the saying, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder."?

That's bull crap. 

The Lord makes the heart grow fonder. Absence is just the space He works in. 

Here's to 62 years, 62 Valentines Days, a million tears, thousands of fights, a whole lot of sarcasm, hours of laughter, a handful of houses and careers, four children, seven grand children, two great grandchildren, two people who said "yes" to a life long love, and one great and awesome God who made it all happen. 


Happy Valentines Day.