Straddling the Line

There is place between good and evil, light and dark, desperation and hope. In this place, there is a choice to be made. It is impossible to straddle the line between good and evil, light and dark, desperation and hope, and exist at peace with anything. One over the other at any given moment. It's a choice to be had when straddling the line. Which side to dwell? In the light? Or the dark?

Depth. Depth Happens.

| April 21st, 2014 Journal |

My question remains; why and how come? If He knew all the misery that would come to be-why even bother creating the world? Is it because He also knows the glory?

It goes like this. You have a child whom you love very, very much. Enough to die for. This child is destined for something so great and unimaginable it can barely be contained in the mind. But because of the laws of the natural world-namely sin and death- your child must go through hardships now to obtain this great life. You-being the parent-can see the pay off and know it will be worth it so you allow the struggles, temptations, and hardships. You remove them from their bubble of innocence and ignorance and allow them to walk the thorny path. Close to them you remain- ever so close for leaving them would be a greater pain. When they stumble and fall, you are there to tend their wounds and pick them up-never stepping over the line to deter the pain so much so that the glory at the end will be tainted.When they cry- you cry. When they scream out in anger-of course you listen. When they turn back, you turn them around for you know that these sufferings are only temporary and the glory to come will be worth all the pain.

When sin entered the world- God's palette of chosen colors drastically changed. What was once void of anything dark now became tainted by the stains of black. Rather than paint with pastels and vibrant true colors-shades of black and gray were dumped into the mix. Surely a disaster to destroy such pure pigments of color...but not when you're an artist-the Artist none the less. Not that humanity before sin was by any means dull or void of depth and meaning, on the contrary- a true pigment of color cannot be compared to a blend of shades and hues. But now there is darkness in the color and perfection is lost to it's overbearing tone.

Tell me-what happens when you add darkness to light?

Depth. Depth happens. Contrast. Dare I say, a picture can often be made more beautiful when shadows are introduced. It becomes so realistic and rich. 

I often wonder why-how-could God allow this darkness to taint His perfect palette. Why even begin painting? He saw and still sees the big picture. He knows the depth it has and the magnificent story it creates. 

For a God so holy and so perfect to willingly create a world in which He knows darkness will invade-His bright, beautiful, and perfect creation tainted- for Him to still create and begin painting, surely the darkness has a purpose.

"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. Only let us live up to what we have already attained."
[ Philippians 3:12-16]

#GonnaRuna10K

Somewhere around the end of February, I made a bold decision to run a 10k on May 3rd. Now, this is indeed a bold decision as I am not an avid runner. I want to be! I think it's kind of cool (yet I look anything but cool in my prime running stance). I even paid the fee up front to ensure my particiaption. "Now I have to do it," I thought. Whether I'm ready or not is totally my decision. 

After only a month and a half of training, I have learned a great deal about myself. I'll humor you with some examples.

1.) I discovered the inside of my ears sweat. (This is highly inconvenient when wearing head phones.)
2.) If I can't breathe I end up snorting. (I know you want to be my running buddy now...)
3.) I tend to lose my balance at least once every mile and consequently end up kicking myself.
4.) I tend to run faster and more efficiently without music. 
5.) I get blisters on the same two toes. Every time. It's awful. I can literally expect to get a blister there. 
6.) Sometimes I honestly hate running. Most of the time, I love it.

While I will spare you the rest of my obnoxious physical oddities, I feel obligated to share another discovery with you; the relationship between training for a race and training spiritually. *Note: For those of you who know me (and those who don't) I am a walking metaphor machine. I could probably create a metaphor out of a dust ball. That being said, I could write a libraries worth about the metaphors between running a 10k and running the good race [Hebrews 12:1-2]. But, to spare all of the librarians out there, I hope to enlighten you to just three of the parallels I have discovered about training up for a race (not just the race itself) and training up the soul. 

1 [The Challenge]

Ah yes. The challenge I have so readily discovered is that the biggest obstacle does not lie in the training itself, rather in gaining the ability to get off my tush and actually begin. 

Most days I look at my training plan, read the designated miles, and groan. I know once I get going it will be well worth it, I'll feel better, and I'll be one step closer to the race. It's just a matter of getting going. 

This same groan of laziness and dismay is often echoed through the chamber halls of our faith and to our Divine trainer. Dwelling in the word, praying, resting, worshipping, church going. Yes, all these things will serve to better the soul if only the motivation could be mustered to accomplish it! Allow me to challenge you in the faith as Nike+ has challenged me in running. Put your spiritual running shoes on, hike up those spanx (not too high though), get that dry-wick gear wicking, and JUST DO IT. I can't tell you how many runs I have begun only to realize halfway through the dissatisfaction of beginning was long gone. Wait not upon the moment of which you "feel" like reading the bible or talking with the Lord but challenge yourself to get out there and do the task of faith.

[Jeremiah 29:13] 

"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

2 [The Temptation]

I know your'e probably wondering how there could possibly be a temptation in the practice of running. Let me tell you, there is, and to give in could destroy you before the starting line. 

In my first two weeks of training, I was putting up one to three miles a day. While it may seem like a small task now, it was daunting at the time. In my curiosity, I scrolled to week 5 and noticed that I was scheduled for a 7.5 mile run. I was barely crawling out of two miles and one day I would have to run 7.5 miles?! The temptation was to call it quits right then and there. My inadequacy was glaring at my jello feeling legs screaming, "You'll never be able to do that!" Now, the thing I love about the Nike+ running app (cue my shameless plug), is that it breaks down each run into bite size pieces making it far more manageable. For example, a five mile run may consist of running two miles, walking one, running one, and so on. Each run has a specific regimen to follow in order to truly be ready for the big runs. Unless the small runs are accomplished and the wisdom of each mile is heeded, surely 7.5 miles would be a daunting impossibility. 

*Update: I just ran the dreaded 7.5 miles yesterday. It was great.

The temptation to fear what is to come in life is no stranger to those who are raising up a faith in Christ. The Lord told us we would experience trouble of all kind in this world [John 16:33]. News flash, He can't lie. That pretty much get's rid of the "if" there is going to be trouble and replaces it with a "when". If we allow the fear and unknown of what is to come cripple us before it is even here, how then can we continue to put our faith in the current day and complete the training at hand? Do not look forward to the time frame of pain and suffering and allow it to mock your current state of faith. Just as training for a marathon is completed day by day, so does the Lord ready His children for the trouble that will come to pass. Trust the training. Be strong and courageous was His commandment [Joshua 1:9]. One mile at a time.

[Matthew 6:34]

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

3 [The Treasure]

There is a great and awesome treasure to be found in running (no, it's not weight loss). Sometimes this treasure can be confused with a curse but when looked at with a new perspective the value is unavoidably obvious. 

The treasures to be gained in running can only be obtained through sweat, pain, leg cramps, loads of time, and the occasional blister (or frequent repeat blisters in my case). Days of training must be completed and thorough stretching is a must. Easy, smooth going, and pleasant are rarely used to describe this process. You are a rare human if you can pop up off the couch and run a 10k with ease. Training is hard work and all too required for success. Despite these difficulties, each time I get out there to run I discover a new treasure. 

| Endurance | Patience | Commitment | Joy | Runners High | The giant meal you get to eat after (shamelessly)| Fresh Air | Strength | Tolerance | Stamina | Persistence | Space to think, pray, listen to music | 

Such treasures can only be obtained through the toil and pain of worth while training.

If you've ever entered the domains of social media or the internet you are most likely familiar with the reality that life is flat out not fair, it's totally hard, and sometimes you just can't "keep calm" because YOLO. In spite of life's sometimes disastrous ways, we are given a challenge each and every day in how we choose to train our mind, body, and soul. If we choose to train by indulging in heaps of shallow pleasures and sit back as our souls deteriorate under the wrath of complacency, fear, and doubt, we can expect the consequences to be unpleasant. In contrast, if we heed the wise advice of our Trainer (that would be Jesus), the unfortunate realities of this life become dull rocks compared to the treasures we store up for ourselves in heaven [Matthew 6:20]. Such treasures can only be obtained through the refining fire of uncertainties and discrepancies. 

| Endurance | Patience | Commitment | Joy | Thankful worship | Heaven (forgiven) | Breath of Life | Strength | Tolerance | Stamina | Persistence | Space to think, pray, listen to music | 

Training can be seen as a curse or a treasure. The difference is how you participate. 

[1 Peter 1:7]

These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold--though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.

[2 Peter 1:5-9]

For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But whoever does not have them is nearsighted and blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their past sins. Therefore, my brothers and sisters, make every effort to confirm your calling and election. For if you do these things, you will never stumble, and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.