Trust

As defined by Dictinoary.com trust is:

1.reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence.

2.confident expectation of something; hope.

3. confidence in the certainty of future payment for property or goods received; credit: to sell merchandise on trust.

4.a person on whom or thing on which one relies: God is my trust.

5.the condition of one to whom something has been entrusted.

  

Have you ever done a trust fall? The one where someone stands in front of you, crosses their arms, and falls backwards into your arms without supporting themselves? If you haven't, find someone that matches the definitions above and do so. If you have, you are aware that in the seconds before you fall trust feels anything but comfortable. It's insecure, unsure, and more than anything, vulnerable.

I am discovering that trust, real  trust, takes more than just a good feeling. It takes courage, true and whole reliance, and complete and utter vulnerability. Trust is most often blind to what is coming. Will you catch me or will you drop me?

Trust. I think it can eventually become comfortable but not because it is based on feeling but because it is based on experience. When you trust someone over and over again and they consistently catch you, trust becomes easier. We have all had a trust like this broken to know that it takes time to build and seconds to shatter. Even then trust is not a feeling. It is still an action, a deliberate thought that often goes against feelings. 

"Infant" trust begins with trusting that when I order food at a restaurant, it's made right and well. "Toddler"trust hopes that a professor will grade me without bias. "Adolescent" trust believes that the lock on my door will protect me. "Young adult" trust can believe my friends will accept me for who I am. 

"Adult" trust hopes that whoever I end up with in life will love me and rather than leave me. "Divine" trust states that the Lord of the Universe is big enough to control when my pen runs out of ink and when it's time for the solar system to grow another 1 billion stars. 

Who do you trust? Who don't you trust?

I know it doesn't always feel good. 

But trust isn't about feeling good.